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The Top Things to Know about
Bar Etiquette
Every profession in the world could list ten things they want you to know. Dentists wish women wouldn’t wear lipstick to appointments; off-duty doctors wish you wouldn’t ask questions about your aches and pains; and supermarket cashiers wish you would take items out of the basket instead of setting it on the belt. Apparently, every profession comes with a secret list titled, “Please Stop Doing That.”
Things Bartenders Want You to Know
Things Bartenders Want You to Know
Cash tips are king. In America, it's common to be paid bimonthly, so bartenders have to wait two weeks to get their taxed credit-card tips. Cash tips are king because they give bartenders spending cash. Cash tips are king because they give bartenders spending money. And no bartender has ever looked at a $20 bill and said, “Ugh, I wish you’d put this on my paycheck.”
If a bartender asks you for a valid ID, take it as a compliment. One day, you’ll miss being carded so much you’ll want to hug the person who asks. There is a small window in life where you get to be young and beautiful, so enjoy it! Bartenders don’t enjoy taking time to check your ID because it slows them down, but they have to follow state laws and workplace policies to keep their jobs.
Bartenders lose money if not tipped. Let us say you don't tip on your $10 drink. The sale of that drink is still reported to the government and then taxed at eight per cent. The tax is taken out of their hourly pay. So, a $6-an-hour bartender job can quickly turn into a $1-an-hour job. It is common for a bartender to not get a check at all.
Asking for a drink in a tall glass or with less ice does not mean you get more alcohol. A taller glass does not magically make more vodka appear. If it did, bartenders would have discovered that miracle centuries ago. It just means you get your drink in a tall glass with extra mixer. A drink with less ice means the same portions of alcohol and mixer, just with less ice. If you want more alcohol, then you will need to order a double.
When the lights come up, that isn’t mood lighting. It’s bartender language for “We love you. Please leave.” Be respectful and leave when the bar closes. "Last call" is normally given one half-hour before closing, and lights come up when it’s closing time. Bartenders have another two hours to cash out, do paperwork, stock, clean, and haul out the trash before they can go home, so don’t add extra time for them.
When you say, “Hook me up! Make my drink strong! Make it a good one!” what bartenders hear is, “Hey, I know we don’t know each other and you could get fired, but will you please steal some booze for me?” Bars are a store and bartenders are the salespeople. They sell products owned by others and therefore cannot give away things that aren't theirs. A person who takes things that are not theirs is called a thief. Yes, some bar owners allow a small comp tab, but bartenders use it with discretion and for valid comps—not to steal something for you.
And for the record, repeatedly saying “Make it strong” has never caused a bartender’s hand to accidentally pour an extra ounce. Quite possibly the opposite.
Please do not announce, “I’m a bartender” or “I used to be a bartender” because real bartenders would never say that. Bartenders know you are in the biz by your actions. If you really are a bartender, we’ll know. You’ll order quickly, have your money ready, tip well, and somehow manage not to wave your arms like you’re directing aircraft.
Please stop handing over multiple cards to split your tabs when the bar is busy. If you insist on paying separately, start separate tabs at the beginning, or do the better thing and take turns buying rounds. Nothing brings a slammed bar to a screeching halt quite like, “Can you put $8.37 on this card, $12 on this one, and the rest on hers?”
Most jobs are either physical or mental. Bartending is both. Bartenders spend their first two hours setting up the bar for the day and their last two hours closing down. Sandwiched in between, they are remembering ten things in their head at all times (names, prices, drink orders, tabs, cocktail recipes, etc.), making many five-second decisions (whether you are of age, too intoxicated, safe, etc.), dealing with many personality types, and having to bend, reach, squat, and lift. It’s physically and mentally draining. Basically, bartending is part salesperson, part accountant, part psychologist, part air-traffic controller, and part CrossFit—with alcohol.
It is not the bartender’s responsibility to charge and take care of your media devices. Bring your charging cord, and we will be happy to show you where the outlets are. On the media note: please don't shove your cell phone in bar staff's faces with a cocktail recipe that has more than four ingredients. If your cocktail recipe requires scrolling, we may need to have a conversation.
Honorable Mention
Stop being ripped off by lazy bartenders who do not give you the alcohol that you paid for.
Example #1: You order four chilled Patron Silver shots. When the bartender shakes the tequila with ice (to chill it), water melts into the tequila. All four shots will not fit into four shot glasses now, so tell the bartender you want all the extra. You paid for it, so you deserve it.
Example #2: You order a frozen drink and the bartender makes it by hand in a blender. Everything in that blender is yours, so don't let them pour the finished drink into a glass and leave some leftover in the blender. You need to ask for the leftover because you’ve paid for that alcohol. Moral of the story: if you paid for the booze, don’t let your booze retire in the blender.
How to Order a Cocktail at a Bar
How to Order a Cocktail at a Bar
When a bar is busy, have your order (s) ready when the bartender approaches. If you have questions or want to talk about cocktails and your choices, let the bartender know so they can fit that time into their flow. The bartender may give you a few ideas and a menu to give you time, then get back to you. Bartenders want to give you good service, but they also want to give everyone good service. If the bar is slow, the bartender can spend more time with you. If the bartender finally gets to you and you turn to your friends and ask, “Okay, what does everybody want?” you may actually see their soul leave their body.
When you know what you want, name the liquor first, then the mixer. Also, “call” your liquor (meaning to call out the brand you want). Examples include Grey Goose & Cranberry, Jack & Coke, Bombay & Tonic, Ketel One Screwdriver, Knob Creek Rye Old-Fashioned, and Malibu & Pineapple. Think of it as bartender grammar: liquor first, mixer second. Jack & Coke rolls off the tongue much better than “Coke...with, um...Jack.”
Well drinks. These are also called rail or house drinks. They are the least expensive mixed drinks. When you ask for a Gin & Tonic, the bartender is using the cheapest gin to make your drink. However, many corporate bars require bartenders to upsell, so they'll ask if you have a preferred gin or want your favorite gin used, etc. If you truly want the cheapest Gin & Tonic, then help the bartender by asking for a well Gin & Tonic. This saves the bartender time and reduces monotony. So if cheap and cheerful is the goal, just say “well.” Your bartender will appreciate the shortcut, and your wallet will appreciate the honesty.
When ordering drinks that require details, always include them. Examples include: Herradura Reposado Margarita on the rocks with salt; Bombay Sapphire Martini straight up, stirred with an olive and a twist; Belvedere Vodka Martini straight up, shaken with a twist; Double Glenlivet 12, neat with a water back; Hendrick’s Negroni with Aperol up; and Jim Beam Rye Manhattan on the rocks. (“Up” is short for straight up. Straight up means that it has been chilled (shaken with ice), then strained into the glass. “Neat” means that it is poured out of the bottle at room temperature.) Bartenders can do many things, but reading minds is generally not included in orientation.
While the bartender is making your cocktail/cocktails, start getting your money ready. If you want to start a tab, then get your credit card ready. After delivering your cocktail, the next step for a bartender is to secure a transaction. Many have cameras on them and they are required to follow through with the transaction process. Your cocktail arriving should not be the moment you begin an archaeological dig through your purse for your credit card.
Here are some common things people say to bartenders, and how to say them better.
You: What’s good? Surprise me!
It is great that you want to try something new, but please narrow it down. First, we do not know what flavors, spirits, and types of cocktails you like or dislike. Second, we do not know if you are lactose intolerant, allergic to nuts, or have any dietary concerns. We also do not know what you are in the mood for. Are you celebrating something? Do you want something hot, boozy, refreshing, fruity, creamy, classic, etc.?
Better ways to ask the bartender include:
“I like vodka-based drinks with fruity flavors. I also love the taste of ginger, chocolate, or mint. Can you make me something tall and refreshing?”
“Can you make me something off the top of your head? I’m game for anything. The only spirit I do not like is tequila and the only other
flavor I do not like is licorice. I’d like something boozy on the rocks.”
“I’m celebrating! Can you make me something historic made with champagne?”
“I had a craft cocktail in New York City that had a spicy liqueur in it that I really liked. Could you make me something spicy with Bourbon?”
You: “Can I get a beer?”
I know they do this in the movies, but it doesn’t work in real life. Look around at the taps or glass coolers or ask for a beer menu. Most bars offer many beers. Walking into a bar and ordering “a beer” is a little like walking into a restaurant and ordering “a food.”
You: "Can we get three shots of tequila?"
Yes, you can, but what kind of tequila do you want? Do you want salt? Do you want limes? “Three shots of tequila” narrows it down about as much as walking into a shoe store and saying, “I need three shoes.”
Bartenders hear the following phrases thousands of times. Here’s how to say the same thing and become one of our favorite customers instead.
“Can we get three shots of Patron Silver with salt and limes?”
“We need three chilled shots of Don Julio Reposado with limes.”
“We’d like to get three shots of well tequila with no salt or limes”
What Others Say
