→ Cocktail Puns & Bar Jokes | Wine, Beer & Drink Puns That Actually Land

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Dici che questa bevanda è analcolica, b ma dov'è la prova?

Le parole da ubriachi e pronunciate male sono inventate dall'insulto del momento?

Visibilmente sconvolto dall'intera prova, il succo d'uva iniziò a vinificare.

L' alcolismo può essere una grave alterazione .

Tutti al bar sono depressi. Abbiamo bisogno di morale.

Possiedo un locale per bere i merli. Quando si negoziano prestiti, il mio piede di porco può essere utilizzato come leva.

La sbornia che ho avuto stamattina mi ha fatto sentire teso. Immagino di dover imparare a de-vino.

Quei due bevitori di birra stanno litigando. Sono a testa alta .

Tutto accade per un reisling.

Quando la prostituta francese inizia a bere, finisce per schiarirsi i capelli. Questo perché "L'assenzio rende la torta più bionda".

D: Perché quella persona ha uno sguardo così sardonico sulla faccia? A: Ha appena bevuto un bicchierino di whisky ironico.

Ho detto al barista maleducato che volevo una birra pesante, scura e amara. Mi ha detto di andare alla birra.

Il viticoltore sviluppò un vino che sapeva di carne in scatola. Lo chiamava Asti Spamanti.

Al dottore piaceva mettere l' aroma di noce nel Daiquiris. Lo chiamiamo Hickory Daiquiri Doc.

Il depresso produttore di birra ha trascorso l'intero fine settimana a rimuginare.

Di solito bevo Gin & Tonic, ma stasera ho deciso di dare una svolta alle cose, quindi ho bevuto un Martini.

Mi avevi al merlot.

Gin & Martini Puns
Dry, dirty, shaken, stirred, and garnished with a twist of humor.

I usually drink Gin & Tonic, but tonight, I decided to shake things up, so I had a Martini.
I ordered a Martini with confidence. It was an olive branch.
My Martini and I have an understanding: it stays dry, and I stay hydrated-ish.
The gin was feeling blue, so the tonic tried to lift its spirits.
Gin is just botanical confidence in a glass.
The Martini refused to argue—it preferred to keep things stirred, not shaken.
Olive you need is a Martini.
The gin and vermouth broke up. They needed more space in the glass.
My Martini is so dry, it keeps asking for moisturizer.
I tried to make a tiny Martini, but it was just my teeny.
The gin went to therapy to work on its juniper issues.

Q: Why does that person have such a sardonic look on his face?
A: He just drank a shot of wry whiskey.
Whiskey business is always neat.
Bourbon and I have a barrel of things in common.
The whiskey was a good listener—it always took things straight.
My whiskey sour was having a rough day, so I gave it a twist.
The bourbon became a detective because it had a nose for clues.
I told the rye to be more positive. It said, “I’m neat enough already.”
The Scotch went to school to improve its high-proof reading.
I like my whiskey how I like my advice: neat, direct, and not watered down.
The bourbon’s autobiography was a real barrel-roller.

The doctor liked to put hickory flavor in Daiquiris. We call him Hickory Daiquiri Doc.
The Moscow Mule kicked like one.
The Old Fashioned refused to update its status.
My Negroni has a bitter side, but we all do.
The Sidecar always shows up when the bike needs a drink.
A Tom Collins walked into a bar, but he was just looking for his columns.
I asked for a Gimlet and got a tiny tool. Wrong kind of sharp.
The Margarita was feeling salty, but the lime gave it a squeeze.
A Bloody Mary is just brunch with a little backbone.
The Mojito became a gardener because it had a talent for mint condition.
The Mai Tai said it was fine—Mai Tai little, but fine.
The Daiquiri got a standing ovation. It was a real rum-bler.
The Manhattan moved to Brooklyn for a change of spirit.
The Sazerac refused to leave New Orleans—it was too attached to the absinthe-minded lifestyle.
The French 75 always arrives with a bang.
The Corpse Reviver is the only cocktail that understands mornings.