→ Cocktail Puns & Bar Jokes | Wine, Beer & Drink Puns That Actually Land

Zastavte se a přivoňte si k Rosé.

Říkáte, že tento nápoj je nealkoholický, ale kde je důkaz?

Jsou opilá, špatně vyslovovaná slova vymyšlená na základě momentální nadávky ?

Hroznová šťáva, viditelně rozrušená z celého utrpení, začala vinat.

Alkoholismus může být vážným prvkem .

Všichni v baru jsou v depresi. Potřebujeme morálku.

Vlastním pitnou provozovnu pro kosy. Při sjednávání půjček lze moje páčidlo použít jako páku.

Kocovina, kterou jsem měl dnes ráno, ve mně vyvolala napětí. Myslím, že se musím naučit odpíjet víno.

Ti dva pijáci piva se docela hádají. Jsou v lagerheadech .

Všechno se děje pro reisling.

Když francouzská prostitutka začne pít, skončí s odbarvováním vlasů. To proto, že "Absint dělá koláč blondýnější."

Otázka: Proč má ten člověk ve tváři tak sardonický výraz? A: Právě vypil panáka kyselé whisky.

Řekl jsem hrubému barmanovi, že chci těžké, tmavé, hořké pivo. Řekl mi, abych šel do piva.

Vinař vyvinul víno, které chutnalo jako masová konzerva. Nazval to Asti Spamanti.

Doktor rád dával do Daiquiris příchuť bílého ořechu. Říkáme mu Hickory Daiquiri Doc.

Pivovar v depresi celý víkend dumal.

Obvykle piju Gin & Tonic, ale dnes večer jsem se rozhodl to zatřást, tak jsem si dal Martini.

Měl jsi mě u merlota.

Gin & Martini Puns
Dry, dirty, shaken, stirred, and garnished with a twist of humor.

I usually drink Gin & Tonic, but tonight, I decided to shake things up, so I had a Martini.
I ordered a Martini with confidence. It was an olive branch.
My Martini and I have an understanding: it stays dry, and I stay hydrated-ish.
The gin was feeling blue, so the tonic tried to lift its spirits.
Gin is just botanical confidence in a glass.
The Martini refused to argue—it preferred to keep things stirred, not shaken.
Olive you need is a Martini.
The gin and vermouth broke up. They needed more space in the glass.
My Martini is so dry, it keeps asking for moisturizer.
I tried to make a tiny Martini, but it was just my teeny.
The gin went to therapy to work on its juniper issues.

Q: Why does that person have such a sardonic look on his face?
A: He just drank a shot of wry whiskey.
Whiskey business is always neat.
Bourbon and I have a barrel of things in common.
The whiskey was a good listener—it always took things straight.
My whiskey sour was having a rough day, so I gave it a twist.
The bourbon became a detective because it had a nose for clues.
I told the rye to be more positive. It said, “I’m neat enough already.”
The Scotch went to school to improve its high-proof reading.
I like my whiskey how I like my advice: neat, direct, and not watered down.
The bourbon’s autobiography was a real barrel-roller.

The doctor liked to put hickory flavor in Daiquiris. We call him Hickory Daiquiri Doc.
The Moscow Mule kicked like one.
The Old Fashioned refused to update its status.
My Negroni has a bitter side, but we all do.
The Sidecar always shows up when the bike needs a drink.
A Tom Collins walked into a bar, but he was just looking for his columns.
I asked for a Gimlet and got a tiny tool. Wrong kind of sharp.
The Margarita was feeling salty, but the lime gave it a squeeze.
A Bloody Mary is just brunch with a little backbone.
The Mojito became a gardener because it had a talent for mint condition.
The Mai Tai said it was fine—Mai Tai little, but fine.
The Daiquiri got a standing ovation. It was a real rum-bler.
The Manhattan moved to Brooklyn for a change of spirit.
The Sazerac refused to leave New Orleans—it was too attached to the absinthe-minded lifestyle.
The French 75 always arrives with a bang.
The Corpse Reviver is the only cocktail that understands mornings.