→ Cocktail Puns & Bar Jokes | Wine, Beer & Drink Puns That Actually Land

Arrêtez-vous et sentez le Rosé.

Vous dites que cette boisson est non alcoolisée, mais où est la preuve ?

Les mots ivres et mal prononcés sont-ils inventés sur la liaison du moment ?

Visiblement contrarié par toute cette épreuve, le jus de raisin s'est mis à vinifier.

L' alcoolisme peut être un alement grave .

Tout le monde dans le bar est déprimé. Nous avons besoin de moral.

Je suis propriétaire d'un abreuvoir pour merles. Lors de la négociation de prêts, mon pied-de-biche peut être utilisé comme levier.

La gueule de bois que j'ai eu ce matin m'a fait me sentir tendu. Je suppose que je dois apprendre à dé-viner.

Ces deux buveurs de bière ont une sacrée dispute. Ils sont à bout de souffle .

Tout se passe pour un reisling.

Lorsque la prostituée française se met à boire, elle finit par se décolorer les cheveux. C'est parce que "l'absinthe rend la tarte plus blonde".

Q : Pourquoi cette personne a-t-elle un regard si sardonique sur son visage ? A: Il a juste bu un verre de whisky ironique.

J'ai dit au barman grossier que je voulais une bière lourde, sombre et amère. Il m'a dit d'aller boire de la bière.

Le vigneron a élaboré un vin au goût de viande en conserve. Il l'appelait Asti Spamanti.

Le médecin aimait mettre de la saveur de hickory dans les Daiquiris. Nous l'appelons Hickory Daiquiri Doc.

Le brasseur déprimé a passé tout le week-end à ruminer.

Je bois habituellement du Gin & Tonic, mais ce soir, j'ai décidé de faire bouger les choses, alors j'ai pris un Martini.

Tu m'as eu au merlot.

Gin & Martini Puns
Dry, dirty, shaken, stirred, and garnished with a twist of humor.

I usually drink Gin & Tonic, but tonight, I decided to shake things up, so I had a Martini.
I ordered a Martini with confidence. It was an olive branch.
My Martini and I have an understanding: it stays dry, and I stay hydrated-ish.
The gin was feeling blue, so the tonic tried to lift its spirits.
Gin is just botanical confidence in a glass.
The Martini refused to argue—it preferred to keep things stirred, not shaken.
Olive you need is a Martini.
The gin and vermouth broke up. They needed more space in the glass.
My Martini is so dry, it keeps asking for moisturizer.
I tried to make a tiny Martini, but it was just my teeny.
The gin went to therapy to work on its juniper issues.

Q: Why does that person have such a sardonic look on his face?
A: He just drank a shot of wry whiskey.
Whiskey business is always neat.
Bourbon and I have a barrel of things in common.
The whiskey was a good listener—it always took things straight.
My whiskey sour was having a rough day, so I gave it a twist.
The bourbon became a detective because it had a nose for clues.
I told the rye to be more positive. It said, “I’m neat enough already.”
The Scotch went to school to improve its high-proof reading.
I like my whiskey how I like my advice: neat, direct, and not watered down.
The bourbon’s autobiography was a real barrel-roller.

The doctor liked to put hickory flavor in Daiquiris. We call him Hickory Daiquiri Doc.
The Moscow Mule kicked like one.
The Old Fashioned refused to update its status.
My Negroni has a bitter side, but we all do.
The Sidecar always shows up when the bike needs a drink.
A Tom Collins walked into a bar, but he was just looking for his columns.
I asked for a Gimlet and got a tiny tool. Wrong kind of sharp.
The Margarita was feeling salty, but the lime gave it a squeeze.
A Bloody Mary is just brunch with a little backbone.
The Mojito became a gardener because it had a talent for mint condition.
The Mai Tai said it was fine—Mai Tai little, but fine.
The Daiquiri got a standing ovation. It was a real rum-bler.
The Manhattan moved to Brooklyn for a change of spirit.
The Sazerac refused to leave New Orleans—it was too attached to the absinthe-minded lifestyle.
The French 75 always arrives with a bang.
The Corpse Reviver is the only cocktail that understands mornings.